False Assurance

Ever loved someone so much to the point where you suddenly realize
that you barely gave yourself a chance to contemplate 
whether or not it is a right choice to be in love with them?
Whether or not it is a right choice to tolerate them?
Whether or not is is a fair choice to sacrifice a lot for them,
while they barely consider a thought of you?

I have.

And I like to keep love out of this equation,
at least for now..
For love has been my only incentive,
my only false assurance.
For I'm repeatedly told I'm loved,
but I only see antonymous meanings.

Little do I encounter
recognition, understanding, compromise...
Belonging, thoughtfulness and compassion.

Little do I feel considered
because every time I invest time and emotion
in this helpless kind of affair,
I receive nothing in return.

Then I realize how unfair
is this affair
on me.

Maybe we have different
sets of mind
Maybe we have different meanings for life
Maybe I have an enormous sense
of both love and occasion
and maybe you have another
meaning for affection.

But love is a false hope
a false assurance
for the both of us.